Saturday, 8 May 2010

Of Bookshops and how they can affect Time/Space


To Lyme Regis and another expedition to 'The Sanctuary'. It's obviously one of those little shops that wasn't there yesterday (except it was there the last time I was in Lyme, maybe due to the time/space warping properties of its stock). These shops have been described by everyone from H.G. Wells to Terry Pratchett to the Simpsons so they obviously must exist in our collective consciousness. They are usually transient because they they are either a simple literary device to pass on a magic sword/lamp or FTL device or they transport the unwitting visitor/purchaser to some other place during their frequent moves. They're something like the Tardis but with stock. Usually they are run by some sort wizened and cranky anthropoid with a personal and unique sense of fashion (this, of course, does not refer to the august persona of the Sanctuary).








So why doesn't this shop move like the genre suggests? My personal theory is like the library at the Unseen University of Ankh Morpork the mass of the ideas/knowledge distorts the continuum so badly that it cannot move. The prediliction of the staff to keep adding books means this is not likely to change in the near future. Support for this theory comes from the fact that I was down in one of the sub-basements looking through a particularly fine assemblage of random copies of Analog from the 1970's and was surprised when a gentleman carrying a framed poster of Miyazaki's Howl's Moving Castle. After he had passed I inspected the dead-end he appeared from, there was no door, no room where he could have come from. I diligently moved books, tapped wainscoting looking for a secret door or switch. There wasn't one to be found and I subsequently searched the shop through many and varied rooms but to no avail. No gentleman, no proprietor to ask but a hung Miyazaki poster in the window. Had he come from another place? I couldn't find out but my time was sadly up and had passed in a strangely fast fashion.

If you are ever passing through Lyme then I can only advise you that you visit the Sanctuary Bookshop with your eyes open and your wits about you. Just don't buy/accept any magic swords/lamps or other goods and never, never get locked in after closing time.

Please excuse the lousy photographs. Half of them never came out and the rest are so bad it's almost like the shop never wanted to be photographed.








Saturday, 17 April 2010

'New' Doctor Who?

After two episodes and the poxy BBC running 5 minutes late I can only say that The Who (no relation to the Doctor) had it exactly right

Meet the new Doctor
Same as the old Doctor
Don't get fooled again

Actually I quite like him!

Friday, 2 April 2010

10 Best Webcomics Ever (IMHO)

(1) Steampunk Heaven http://www.girlgeniusonline.com
(2) I can't draw but my imagination is off the scale http://www.waterphoenixking.com
(3) Gunnerkrigg Awsome http://www.gunnerkrigg.com
(4) Hardcore scifi Crimson Dark http://www.davidcsimon.com/crimsondark
(5) Zombie Heaven http://www.everydaydecay.com
(6) Zombie Heaven 2 http://deadwinter.cc
(7) If you don't know One Death then you don't know Fineas http://www.goats.com/
(8) It's got Elves http://www.lfgcomic.com/
(9) And the meek shall inherit the earth http://www.meekcomic.com
(10) Lovecraftian http://www.shadowgirlscomic.com

(11) So I lied :-O Spacetrawler rocks http://spacetrawler.com

Sunday, 28 March 2010

Film Trailer Voiceover Compo

Free from Yahoo try this trailer voiceover app at http://www.yahoofilmtrailer.co.uk/.

Club members should try to bring their best effort to the next meeting. Email me your links and I'll save them for playback.

A quick effort can be found at www.yahoofilmtrailer.co.uk/?songID=80.

Monday, 22 March 2010

Stupid time machine and random mutterings


There I was looking forward to sipping Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters on the beachworld of Zooton 3 when a miscalibration landed us back in the Napoleonic War era where we met this bloke. You'd never believe he had a Dalek's** head in his knapsack! Them buggers get everywhere.

(Note to the confused: If you understand this then you're already a member of the club. If you are a member of the club, why haven't you bought me a beer lately? If you aren't a member of the club then buying me a beer is the first step)

** It seems that the 'new' Doctor is back at Easter and the Dalek's are involved. This is after them being "irrevocably" destroyed three times to the club's knowledge. The show may be acquiring the traits of a one-trick pony again.

Where's Leela when you really need her? (Andy has had to go for a lie down)

On the subject of the homicidal wheelie-bins I'd like to suggest to Channel 4 that they do not drop 'Big Brother' but instead rename it 'Dalek Death Match'. Get some paranoid killing machines in a large house/building/hangar and then import the usual Z-list celebs & bimbo/muscle wannabees and the winner is the last sentient standing!

Wait a minute though that excludes all participants of 'not really' reality shows.

Archivist BSFFG out

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Aliens are among us and we have the proof!


One day in what starts to feel like an alternative dimension I found myself needing to trade a cup of coffee for a clean restroom. This is becoming a common transaction in these days of no public conveniences and thus was it that I found myself drinking a cup of very generic coffee in a Pizza Hut and hoping the restroom was going to be clean.


I ventured into the room with what I hoped was the right pictogram on the door and found this.
What does this have to do with aliens you ask, dear reader? Look carefully at the picture and consider the maths of Urinal Vulnerability Protocol at http://blog.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/ .
A simplified solution could be stated as (Urinals / 2 - 0.5) where the number of urinals is an odd number over one.
Looking at the photo we can see that the optimum urinator can only be one person but that is not possible at most times. How do we take into account the urinal for the really vertically challenged people on the right?
What is really obvious is that this restroom could not have been designed by humans. The urinals are too low and too close together, elbows would touch and willy watchers would not be deterred. Not suitable for average size human males but for Greys, Leprechauns, Smurfs, Hobbits and Dwarves (take your pick here). Too tall for the Wee Free Men though so I think we can eliminate them.
The only problem is that if it's not aliens then it could have only been designed by a woman.

We're entering the Purbeck Shorts Compo


(14TH PURBECK FILM FESTIVAL) 15 TO 30 OCTOBER 2010

SHORT FILM SUBMISSIONS for “PURBECK SHORTS”

Deadline: 15 SEPTEMBER 2010

LENGTH: Up to 10 minutes

FORMAT: Preferred format DVD initially

SCREENING DATE: FRIDAY, 22 OCTOBER 2010

SCREENING VENUE: THE REX CINEMA, WAREHAM, DORSET

AWARDS & PRIZES: THE AUDIENCE CHOICE AWARD & THE JUDGE’S CHOICE AWARD

We have Lee's 2 minute storyboard as a template.

Therefore we need talent in screenwriting, acting, production, cinematography, key gripping and gaffering.

Any volunteers let us know through the blog.