Film Trailer Voiceover Compo

Free from Yahoo try this trailer voiceover app at http://www.yahoofilmtrailer.co.uk/.

Club members should try to bring their best effort to the next meeting. Email me your links and I'll save them for playback.

A quick effort can be found at www.yahoofilmtrailer.co.uk/?songID=80.

Stupid time machine and random mutterings

There I was looking forward to sipping Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters on the beachworld of Zooton 3 when a miscalibration landed us back in the Napoleonic War era where we met this bloke. You'd never believe he had a Dalek's** head in his knapsack! Them buggers get everywhere.

(Note to the confused: If you understand this then you're already a member of the club. If you are a member of the club, why haven't you bought me a beer lately? If you aren't a member of the club then buying me a beer is the first step)

** It seems that the 'new' Doctor is back at Easter and the Dalek's are involved. This is after them being "irrevocably" destroyed three times to the club's knowledge. The show may be acquiring the traits of a one-trick pony again.

Where's Leela when you really need her? (Andy has had to go for a lie down)

On the subject of the homicidal wheelie-bins I'd like to suggest to Channel 4 that they do not drop 'Big Brother' but instead rename it 'Dalek Death Match'. Get some paranoid killing machines in a large house/building/hangar and then import the usual Z-list celebs & bimbo/muscle wannabees and the winner is the last sentient standing!

Wait a minute though that excludes all participants of 'not really' reality shows.

Archivist BSFFG out

Aliens are among us and we have the proof!

One day in what starts to feel like an alternative dimension I found myself needing to trade a cup of coffee for a clean restroom. This is becoming a common transaction in these days of no public conveniences and thus was it that I found myself drinking a cup of very generic coffee in a Pizza Hut and hoping the restroom was going to be clean.

I ventured into the room with what I hoped was the right pictogram on the door and found this.

What does this have to do with aliens you ask, dear reader? Look carefully at the picture and consider the maths of Urinal Vulnerability Protocol at http://blog.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/ .

A simplified solution could be stated as (Urinals / 2 - 0.5) where the number of urinals is an odd number over one.

Looking at the photo we can see that the optimum urinator can only be one person but that is not possible at most times. How do we take into account the urinal for the really vertically challenged people on the right?

What is really obvious is that this restroom could not have been designed by humans. The urinals are too low and too close together, elbows would touch and willy watchers would not be deterred. Not suitable for average size human males but for Greys, Leprechauns, Smurfs, Hobbits and Dwarves (take your pick here). Too tall for the Wee Free Men though so I think we can eliminate them.

The only problem is that if it's not aliens then it could have only been designed by a woman.

We're entering the Purbeck Shorts Compo

(14TH PURBECK FILM FESTIVAL) 15 TO 30 OCTOBER 2010

SHORT FILM SUBMISSIONS for “PURBECK SHORTS”

Deadline: 15 SEPTEMBER 2010

LENGTH: Up to 10 minutes

FORMAT: Preferred format DVD initially

SCREENING DATE: FRIDAY, 22 OCTOBER 2010

SCREENING VENUE: THE REX CINEMA, WAREHAM, DORSET

AWARDS & PRIZES: THE AUDIENCE CHOICE AWARD & THE JUDGE’S CHOICE AWARD

We have Lee's 2 minute storyboard as a template.

Therefore we need talent in screenwriting, acting, production, cinematography, key gripping and gaffering.

Any volunteers let us know through the blog.