One day in what starts to feel like an alternative dimension I found myself needing to trade a cup of coffee for a clean restroom. This is becoming a common transaction in these days of no public conveniences and thus was it that I found myself drinking a cup of very generic coffee in a Pizza Hut and hoping the restroom was going to be clean.
I ventured into the room with what I hoped was the right pictogram on the door and found this.
What does this have to do with aliens you ask, dear reader? Look carefully at the picture and consider the maths of Urinal Vulnerability Protocol at http://blog.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/ .
A simplified solution could be stated as (Urinals / 2 - 0.5) where the number of urinals is an odd number over one.
Looking at the photo we can see that the optimum urinator can only be one person but that is not possible at most times. How do we take into account the urinal for the really vertically challenged people on the right?
What is really obvious is that this restroom could not have been designed by humans. The urinals are too low and too close together, elbows would touch and willy watchers would not be deterred. Not suitable for average size human males but for Greys, Leprechauns, Smurfs, Hobbits and Dwarves (take your pick here). Too tall for the Wee Free Men though so I think we can eliminate them.
The only problem is that if it's not aliens then it could have only been designed by a woman.
As a corollary to the above I always wondered whether women suffered from any sort of bathroom anxiety to the same level as men. A female acquaintance has recently explained to me that under certain circumstances they do. Women will go en-masse to the bathroom to socialize, repair makeup, diss their boyfriends/partners/significant others and have a pee. They can do this because they can nicturate privately in their single stall and any 'tinkle' noises are generally unheard due to the background twittering/bitching.
ReplyDeleteHowever a lady's anxiety level rises when she needs a No. 2 when she's out. Then she sneaks off sans amies and finds an empty stall, waits for for vacancies on both sides and then does the 'Ninja Poo'. It's quick, it's silent and and hopefully no one needs to know she's there :D